Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Welcome to the Gang
The big news on late night Thursday was the arrest of the former Trump adviser Steve Bannon. He’s accused of skimming funds from an online campaign that promised to help build President Trump’s border wall.
“A crowdsourced fund-raiser to build a [expletive] wall in the middle of the desert?” marveled Seth Meyers, who thought it had clearly been a scam from the start. “The thing was one rung below those companies that claim to name a star after you.”
“Hey, you guys remember Steve Bannon, the white nationalist slash giant pimple who ran Trump’s campaign, then worked in his White House and helped engineer such odious policies as the Muslim ban and publicly defended the horrific family separation policy? Often wore two shirts when one would have sufficed? You know, the dude who had a crazy-person whiteboard in his office with policies scrawled on it like ‘Suspend immigration from terror-prone regions,’ ‘implement new extreme vetting techniques’ and ‘suspend the Syrian refugee program’? I’m shocked it also didn’t include ‘Brunch with Slender Man’ and ‘Kill the Batman.’” — SETH MEYERS
“You know, Steve Bannon, the gentleman who currently looks like a guy selling exotic reptiles on the Venice Beach boardwalk.” — SETH MEYERS
“I can’t believe this — another Trump guy has been arrested? After the Aryan Brotherhood and Latin Kings, the largest prison gang in America might be the former Trump campaign officials.” — TREVOR NOAH
"And everything about this story is insane. First of all, Bannon was arrested on a 150-foot yacht. And I know everyone is innocent until proven guilty, but I mean, let’s be real: anyone arrested on a yacht, I mean, you’re guilty.” — TREVOR NOAH
“He’s accused of stealing money from people who thought they were donating to build Donald Trump’s wall — because you know, you wouldn’t want criminals sneaking into the country.” — TREVOR NOAH
“This is the perfect encapsulation of the Trump era. From beginning to end, the wall was a nonstop scam. Trump scammed his supporters by telling them Mexico would pay for it, then we ended up paying for it. Then this baked-potato Fabio over here said he’d raise money for it, then scammed everyone again by allegedly skimming money from it. It’s a Russian nesting doll of fraud. I can’t wait until Bannon raises money for his legal defense fund and we find out he lost it all on the racetrack.” — SETH MEYERS
“I don’t know where I stand on this story. I don’t. On the one hand, I’m angry that he defrauded these people. On the other hand, he defrauded people who were donating to build Trump’s border wall and, therefore, deprive immigrants of just seeking out a better life. I don’t know what to think. It’s a weird sensation. I’m happy about both.” — JAMES CORDEN
“The money was used to fund a lavish lifestyle, which, if you are Steve Bannon, means morphing into a way too tan Russell Crowe.” — JAMES CORDEN
“Seriously, Trump has enough criminals around him for a [expletive] ‘Ocean’s Eleven’ remake.” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Jimmy Fallon on a Roll Edition)
“I don’t know, maybe these charges are nothing. I mean, does Steve Bannon look guilty to you? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, he definitely does. Just so you know, by the way, that’s how he looked before he got arrested. He looks like someone you find sleeping in the bathroom stall at Margaritaville.” — JIMMY FALLON
“He looks like an unemployed Martha Washington impersonator.” — JIMMY FALLON
“He looks like a guy who yells at Little Leaguers when he doesn’t have a kid on the team.” — JIMMY FALLON
“He looks like every composite photo of what Elvis would look like if he were alive today.” — JIMMY FALLON
“He looks like every guy who’s ever tried to sell me a Jacuzzi.” — JIMMY FALLON
“He looks like every guy at the hotel hot tub who sits way too close to your wife.” — JIMMY FALLON
“He looks like every man who’s ever walked into a Ferrari dealership.” — JIMMY FALLON
“He looks like his home address is the swim-up bar at the Mirage.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
In his fourth and final night of live shows focused on the Democratic National Convention, Stephen Colbert made a passionate case for Joe Biden.
Also, Check This Out
The Criterion Collection highlights the work of 461 filmmakers from more than 40 countries, only four of whom are African-American. The company president says his “blind spots” are partly to blame.
