Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Bleach at the Bellagio
With Covid-19 raging and the election less than 50 days away, late-night hosts homed in on President Trump’s decision to hold an indoor campaign rally in a Las Vegas suburb over the weekend, flouting Nevada’s virus restrictions. Thousands attended, most without wearing masks or social distancing.
“And now you can tell Nevada is on edge, because after the rally, the Bellagio fountain started spraying bleach,” Jimmy Fallon said on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”
“It looks like the next long-term residency in Las Vegas will be the coronavirus.” — JIMMY FALLON
“In violation of the state’s Covid restrictions, there were lots of chanting and very little social distancing, and many refused to wear masks at all. If you were actively trying to get people sick, this is how you would do it. The only way he could spread the virus more efficiently is to hold a rally at a meatpacking plant and charge one French kiss for admission.” — SETH MEYERS
“This was Trump’s first entirely indoor event in almost three months. Yep, the event was attended by 5,000 people who watched Trump’s Tulsa rally and thought, ‘That, but less safe.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“The rally actually defied Nevada’s 50-person limit on indoor gatherings. In response, the Trump campaign was like, ‘Honestly, after Tulsa, we didn’t think 50 people would show up.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“At his next rally, there’s going to be one ‘Make America Great Again’ Kleenex that everyone has to share. [imitating Trump] ‘Just blow your nose and pass it around. Trump fever!’” — SETH MEYERS
“How do you still trust this man after he admitted he’s been downplaying the coronavirus this whole time? I don’t get it. I really don’t get it. What do you mean you trust him? This is like believing a Nigerian email scammer after he tells you that he’s a Nigerian email scammer.’”— TREVOR NOAH
“And as for Trump, how are you going to call yourself the president of law and order when you’re openly flouting the law? And not even for like a noble reason. No, it’s just so he can spend 90 minutes ranting how vegetables were invented by the deep state and Hillary Clinton.” — TREVOR NOAH
The Punchiest Punchlines (What Happens in Vegas Edition)
“You know how bad you have to mess up to be known as the guy who made a bad decision in Vegas? Even old ladies smoking at the slot machines were like, ‘I wouldn’t set foot in there.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“This was such a bad idea, one doctor even said, ‘President Trump’s indoor rally in Nevada is negligent homicide,’ making Trump’s rally the dumbest political gathering since Bill Clinton accepted the Democratic nomination at Jurassic Park.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Trump wasn’t too concerned about hosting a super-spreader event because he kept saying, ‘Hey, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.’” — JAMES CORDEN
“Several major television networks, including CNN, reportedly decided not to send crews to cover President Trump’s indoor rally in Nevada yesterday due to safety concerns, and not, as I had assumed, because it wasn’t news.” — SETH MEYERS
“And this isn’t just about breaking the law. What Donald Trump is doing here is actually dangerous. The last time Trump held an indoor rally, he lost 25 percent of his Black friends.” — TREVOR NOAH, showing a photo of Herman Cain
“Seriously, you know you’re doing something crazy when the state that allows gambling and prostitution’s like, ‘You can’t do that, bro.’” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Bob Woodward offered Stephen Colbert an exclusive excerpt from one of his taped conversations with Trump about the coronavirus.
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
Willie Nelson and his sister, Bobbie, who has played in his band for decades, will be on “The Tonight Show” to talk about their new memoir.
Also, Check This Out
Luca Guadagnino’s new HBO series, “We Are Who We Are,” is a heady drama about teenage love on a U.S. Army base in Italy.
