Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Most of us are stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Attracting Flies
Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel went live after the vice-presidential debate on Wednesday night and discussed the fly that stole the show when it found a temporary home on Vice President Mike Pence’s head.
“Mike Pence’s fly just became the most popular Halloween costume of 2020,” Kimmel joked in his monologue.
“It stayed on his head for two minutes and three seconds. Technically, that fly is now his running mate.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“He’s so full of crap, he’s attracting flies.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“God bless you, fly. I guess the plexiglass wasn’t high enough.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“But listen, listen, all jokes aside, thoughts and prayers to that fly’s family. It’s gotta quarantine for two weeks now. We’ve got to get that fly to Walter Reed.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Two minutes, meaning that fly has a longer attention span than the president of the United States.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Keep ’Em Separated Edition)
“Safety was a concern leading up to tonight’s debate, seeing as how the White House is now the new Wuhan.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Ahead of tonight’s debate, Vice President Mike Pence’s staff initially requested no plexiglass barriers be placed on his side of the stage. Said Pence, ‘If there’s going to be any flat, transparent divider on that stage, it’s going to be me.’” — SETH MEYERS
“Having a conversation through a glass partition was good practice for Mike Pence, ’cause after January, that’s how he’s going to have to do it when he visits his former boss at the correctional facility.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Gotta say, I’ve seen better sneeze guards at the Sizzler salad bar.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Mike Pence believes that if you’re going to separate a man and a woman, it should be from their children at the border of the United States.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Trevor Noah makes the case for doing away with Columbus Day and other celebrations of a colonizer of Native Americans.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Mindy Kaling will talk about her new essay collection, “Nothing Like I Imagined (Except for Sometimes),” on Thursday’s “Late Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Lisa Selin Davis’s “Tomboy” takes a comprehensive historical look at gender performance and what it means to “act like a girl.”
